Lights Camera, ACTION!: The importance of narrative in Games

I was recently sent an email from someone that I love, cherish and respect. She was having trouble with an essay for uni and asked if I would have a quick read through for her. As I am a good hearted fellow with an deep respect for her chosen field of learning (Film Studies) and wanting to help in anyway that I can, I accepted. As I was reading through I noticed words like”spectacle” “audience” “narrative” which left me thinking. Are games so different from films?

On the surface, yes. Instead of simply watching the scenes and adventures unfold from the comfort of your arm chair, you are making them happen. With every button press and every action that you do having an effect on the world around you, and it does all of this whilst keeping you engrossed and immersed in which ever universe you happen to be populating that that moment in time.

John Marston: One of the most engaging and enigmatic characters ever.

Theoretically, this should happen every time you sit down for a long, hard slog of a gaming session. Unfortunately, the “Good Game Fairy” fails to smile and radiate her magical glow on at every game that comes under the scrutiny of game journalists. Naturally there are going to be bad games, just as there are bad films. It can be a combination of many factors that make a game bad, sometimes those factors aren't even down to the game's development team, technological setbacks or limitations can prove that human error can only count for so much of a game's short comings.

Other times it could be the fan base, abusing all nay sayers that “dare” to have a difference of opinion on a game that has yet to be released and therefore losing a potential fan for the game or the franchise with the possibility even making them go as far as completely boycotting a developer's future titles. It could have been that the QA testers weren't as diligent as they should have been, leaving it to the consumer to find the bugs and glitches that break flow and rip you kicking and screaming from your fantasy world of blood, battle scars and mead.

You will know a good game (if you've played as many as I have) from the offset, take Far Cry 3 for example, the opening cut scene shows a group of American trust fund kids living it up on holiday. Home movies full of drinking, parties, women and adrenaline seeking before it cuts to a bamboo cage with yourself (Jason Brody) and his brother imprisoned within. For an opening scene, this lays the ground work for the rest of the game, you know that Jason has nothing in the way of special forces training due to the fact that he is terrified and is bordering on tears as he flees in to the jungle. In fact his brother, who actually does have military training dies pretty early on (see, being in the marines isn't always a get out of jail free card...)

Watch out for Vaas, he'll enslave your Arss...IT WORKS DAMN IT!

The reason that this is a good, if not brilliant opening. Is because you can immediately connect and relate with Jason. (bar the trust fund frolics) He is clearly terrified, as would any of us be if we found ourselves in the same situation and forced to take another humans' life in the name of self preservation. Although this leads him down a path that sees him crafting wallets from the taints of his enemies within 5 minutes of his first kill, we can still connect with him. He is growing and changing as a person and therefore a character and as players, we grow and change along with him.

This is where films get a “guilt free pass” the characters are set out and moulded to a persona, in very few films have I seen a character start out as a nervous wreck only to reappear an hour later glistening with sweat atop his massive pectorals and picking masticated Nazi out of his teeth. In video games, we are strapped to the person, we become that person (all right, maybe not Max Payne. I have neither, a broken frontal lobe that allows me to slow down time. Nor a lust for diving through windows whilst dual wielding 9mm handguns and chugging cheap whisky) we witness everything that character witnesses, we feel the same emotions as the character. The more time we invest in a game, the more we invest in a character and therefore the story that they are a part of.

Colliding with filing cabinet in 3...2..1...

But this I feel, is a double edged sword. As I previously mentioned, there are such things as bad games, and a notorious staple of a bad game is the lack of a character arc. We have to spend upwards of 5 hours with this character, but instead of becoming this person, we become little imps on their shoulders, pulling at their ear hair to make them move, shoot, cast magic, seduce the blacksmith's daughter, this list could go on and on but you get my drift. Instead of the player growing and changing with the character, we watch a muscle head in power armour move from point A to point B, occasionally pausing to cut a disfigured monstrosity from groin to chin in an exaggerated excuse for a “take-down” and move along the sightseeing tour. (yes I think Gears of War is a bad game, sue me!)

My point is, video games may be more complicated than films, but they are also as restricted. Give the player the chance to roam and do as they please and they will, almost to an unhealthy degree. The story then gets neglected to the fringe of abuse and the point or moral is never imparted, they have to be quite linear, if for no other reason than to uphold the name of “Interactive Story Telling”.

I applaud the developers that create engaging and engrossing games that give me the option of running through a corn field, broadsword aloft and a gaggle of terrified villages running for their lives, but I give a standing ovation to the developers that make me want to stop tormenting NPCs for a second to sit down in front of an open fire and listen to some more stories of old. Without narrative, we have no reason to play games, defiling NPCs can only be done so much before they run me out of town, waving pitchforks and screaming “HEATHEN!”. We rely on stories to bring us back to “reality” and to show us that really the writing in the previous game was just a precursor to this.

Alright lads! All together now!

So next time you feel that a character's progression isn't shifting in any way, shape or form or advancing the story, just check their shoulder. You may see yourself wrestling with an ear hair or two.

A special mention goes to my gorgeous Saff. Without her this piece would have never been written, and I would still be procrastinating by playing more Red Dead Redemption.... Thank you babe! And thank you the reader for reading my rambling scrawl that I call journalism

Furry Friendlies: Remember The Puppies!

Wandering the post apocalyptic wasteland can be a miserable and lonely experience. Walking for miles upon miles, everyone you meet wants to pull a gun on you, and everyone that doesn't, wants to rob you blind. You can meander around for miles with nothing to sustain you but the occasional fetch quest, the impromptu bandit attacks oh... and the MINDLESS KILLING!

“As you can see I didn't escape the nuclear wastes completely unscathed. My sanity is questionable, my morals even more so. All I have in the world is a sniper rifle and a necklace of human ears. If only I had a companion! One that is kind and protective, one that wont try and steal my last Stim pack from my back pocket, one that wont shoot me accidentally-on-purpose when I give them “Baby's First SMG” (I'M STILL ANGRY ABOUT THAT, IAN!) oh where will I find my one companion, the one that makes all the others seem like stepping stones to this meeting?! Wait! What's that dodging gracefully through the minefield?!” - From Sgt Mooby's Fallout 3 diary

War, war never changes

Fallout 3 has a whole mass of characters that you can befriend and have follow you on your journey through the “Capital Wasteland”. But I don't think that there is a companion that we will ever love more, than Dog Meat. Our faithful four legged friend (and my personal favourite) has captured the hearts and minds of many Fallout 3 players. Being utterly fearless in his pursuit to keep you alive, he is more than a match for any bandit or raider that you may stumble across as you continue your quest to find your Liam Neeson voiced father.

You will find him, but you won't kill him

Companions in games can make the difference between a good game and a great game. Take Daxter for example, without his chipper attitude, his witty one liners and his larger than life insanity, Jak and Daxter would have been a game full of teenage moodiness and little else. Daxter provides the much needed comic relief compared to the gruff seriousness of Jak.

The same can be seen in Ratchet and Clank, although not an animal, Clank provides the smart, smooth and sophisticated half of the Lombax/Robot tag team. Without Clank's witty input and calculated seriousness. The Ratchet & Clank games wouldn't be anywhere  near as satisfying or endearing. 

The names, Clank...Just Clank.

I've barely scratched the surface on how important companions can be to video games, we find it tough enough to care about one character that has all the social proficiency and psychopathic tendencies as Murray the demonic talking skull, so a little comical timing can go along way.

 Yes they may shoot us in the back from time to time, or block us in doorways that leave us screaming at our T.Vs to move out the sodding way, but that's what makes them so endearing. Its also what makes us well up at the tragic moment when they take a bullet/laser pulse/tomahawk/spirit bomb etc to save our hero from replaying the cut-scene all over again. I hope you enjoyed this one folks, may your adventures be glitch free and murder filled...I really need to see a doctor...

Matt Eakins is a freelance gaming journalist, with the ability to turn a phrase and spin a line at the drop of a hat. Find more from him on Twitter @SgtMooby or at http://gamergripesandgrooves.blogspot.co.uk/

“I came in like a Wrecking Ball” -- When it all goes wrong.

A change from my usual postings, but something struck me today about someone (or a few people) that I know; just because we can't see the pain, it doesn't mean it's not there. previously I posted an article on gaming in relationships, in a way this is a spin off of the same topic, I hope you enjoy.

There are some people in our lives that have the power to change us, they can be right in front of your nose or they can be on the other side of the world, but in some way shape or form they will change us, and not necessarily for the better. I am of course talking about relationships. Boyfriends, Girlfriends, Best friends, Husbands, Wives, friends with benefits ect. All these people have something in common, you have given a part of yourself to them, and in return you get a part of them, memories, both good and bad. Feelings, both euphoric and despairing, in a split second your mood can change from on top of the world to the lowest of the low with seemingly no way to turn it around, all because one of these people have an ability, one that not every Tom, Dick or Harry on the street can do; They can make you feel. 

Love for all, even the slow ones.

Many of us have experienced these relationships, we have also experienced the heartache and the self doubt that can occur when these relationships break down and end. especially in the more romantic relationships, the ending of one can influence you to drastically change your general mood, behavior or personality in an effort to block out the feelings you might be undergoing. These feelings can last for hours, days, months even years and we never truly feel the same as we did before the relationship ended.

In many of the instances that I've seen, music can be the one saving grace for the person feeling a tsunami of emotions and feelings, everything from rock and metal to soul and R'n'B. I now point you in the direction of “Wrecking Ball” by Miley Cirus, which was incidentally what gave me part of the inspiration for this piece. The song talks of a relationship that has been completely destroyed, and Miley singing about how hurt and fragile she feels but whilst also realizing what went wrong. I'm not going to go on and analyze the song, because that would be boring.

                                                            A beautiful cover, full of emotion

Some, if not all of us have felt like the Miley of our own relationships at one point in time or another, I wont be lecturing you in to letting everything go in one fell swoop, picking yourself up and dusting yourself down, telling you “There's plenty more fish in the sea” or any of those dated clichés. Instead I'm going to offer advise: embrace the feelings. Don't let them consume you, but embrace them, listen to them, take stock of everything you've learnt in the relationship and regret nothing from it. Coming out of such a close bond, filled with love, care, devotion, attention and kind words is never easy and can cause some people to completely lose sight their own identity in an effort to bring the good times back, but with everyday that you listen to what the pain is telling you. Is another day that you remember the good times, the fun times, the times that you look back on and smile, without the pain of everything that has happened, tainting your memory of the past.

Itch it and you'll ruin it...

You move through the pain as if you were getting a tattoo; mild irritation turns to agonizing pain, that then turns to an itch that you CAN'T scratch that turns to a beautifully crafted piece of art. (I thought I said no clichés?) But like a tattoo, emotional pain takes time to heal, scratching the pain will cause it to manifest, thus causing more pain, but this is just my take on the subject, let me know what you think in the comments below. 

 

I may do more articles like this, if inspiration strikes and fully takes hold I will write about anything. I will leave you today with this; Tomorrow is not promised, what you may have today, may be be lost. so live, love and laugh like this is your last day on earth.

Peace, love and puppies ladies and gents,

Sgt Mooby

Chin up Scaredy Bear, I'm here if you need to talk x

Gaming Couples: The Myth of the Gamr Gurl

DISCLAMER - As heterosexual male, I will be writing this from the point of view of a heterosexual male, this article is in no way shape or for, meant to belittle, demean, undermine, insult, attack or humiliate those that are not heterosexual males - DISCLAMER

We has human beings have an uncontrollable desire to be loved, wanted, understood and respected. For some gamers it might not be as effortless to attract members of the opposite sex. Some of us however have found a partner that we want to share things with. Passions, dreams, hobbies, Animé collections ect..

In my adventures in to the dating world I have had some fair maidens, dismiss my love of video games, calling it a “Childish Pursuit”. Saying that I’m “Too old” to be playing video games. Those women rarely made it far in to my heart or my mind. I am about to reveal to you something that some of you may have never realised before...ready? Women do actually play video games! I know that some of you may find this hard to believe, but they honestly do! Its not an elaborate lie that the internet has concocted to keep you glued to your screens in an effort to find one of these “Mystical Creatures”.

"Here we have, the Gamer Girl, in her natural environment"

Yes they may be few and far between, but a lot of (if not all of) the time, they are well worth the wait. I have found gamers of the fairer sex to be just as if not more, passionate and creative than the non gaming variety. Which in turn allows you to share your favourite past time, with potentially the girl of your dreams. For those of you that have get to find your “Gamr Gurl” but have found yourself a fair maiden (why am I typing like its the Middle Ages?) introducing her to your world can seem a daunting task. But we got in to this hobby because we enjoy it and are passionate about it, right?

Well this is the side you have to show to your girl, show her the fun, social side of it instead of the “stay-up-till-4am-drinking-redbull” side that she has already seen and detests about your favourite past time. Show her that together you can overcome puzzles in games such as “Portal 2” or help her get out her frustrations in a friendly game of FFA in “Call Of Duty” (use this wisely, things can get ugly). Show her the town planning potential you have with “Sim City” or the tactician side of you with “Command & Conquer”. Gaming is supposed to be fun, so why not show her why you are so invested in it?

Atlas & Peabody: The perfect co-op couple.

Why all these things may help to get your woman be more accepting of your hobby. Don't try and change her, it wont work and she will probably end up resenting you for it, which could then end up in an unhappy relationship. Which would then end up with a very unhappy gamer! There is a reason why you are with her in the first place, don't risk losing that whilst you try to make her in to your perfect woman.

For the record, I don’t believe that there are such things as “girl gamers”. My opinion on the matter is, there are women, who ENJOY video games, geek culture, Animé and the such like. But to label someone over their personal preference in what they enjoy doing in their free time is stupid, silly and disrespectful. Some women openly call themselves Gamer Girls, and I take my hat off to them. They have chosen an identity, and they are happy with it! Why people have to attack them or hit on them for simply being a female in the community I will never know, I could go on a rant for a full feature about how women are belittled and shunned from the gaming community or the comic book community, but I won't...for now at least.

What many of us seek, but few of us ever find.

To finish this post, Gaming with your other half can be a great bonding exercise, it can strengthen your bond as a couple and you get her involved in your passion, so many wins!

Introducing her to your world can be an exciting time as a couple, during the hours you spend gaming, you may find out things that will shock and surprise you, or find out things that you find endearing about her and make you cherish and like her even more. Happy hunting guys and girls! And remember, just because you haven't met the gaming partner of your dreams yet, they may be just around the next spawn point. 

This article is dedicated to Cuddliicakes, For giving me the inspiration behind this piece, and for being awesome.

Matt Eakins is a freelance gaming journalist, with the ability to turn a phrase and spin a line at the drop of a hat. Find more from him on Twitter @SgtMooby or at http://gamergripesandgrooves.blogspot.co.uk/

Open World Blues - and how to overcome them.

As gamers, we all have that one genre of game that we find ourselves getting totally lost in. The game that we can play for hours on end and not get bored or frustrated with. From FPS to MMO, every game has its own unique story to tell, be it a war to end all wars against some foreign super power. To defending an entire planet from an ancient threat that has reared its ugly head once more, apparently not learning its lesson from the last time it got its head caved in with a jagged rock.

What do you mean I have one shot?!

For me, open world games are my kryptonite. Getting lost in a world full of spectacle and wonder, with enough quests or missions to last me till The Rapture. With every venture in to the deep sprawling wilds, yielding a new adventure. But these games are a double edged blade, with all the adventuring and exploration that can be done, comes exasperating travel times, these have been know to drive me to the limit. Not wanting to travel through the deepest darkest forest to get to a new exciting quest has me annoyed enough to save the game and play something else.

 

Of course I'll come and get you!...What do you mean you're on a mountain!?

I know that with games such as Skyrim or the GTA franchise, exploration = reward, and I love having to work for my rewards, but sometimes I just want to slay, loot, maim, behead and generally go on a, full on, all out, rampage. This is why I love open world so much, if you REALLY want to...you can! A quick save, and a turn off of the auto save and away you go. Laughing manically as you behead a horse and teabag the rider in to oblivion. Or punching the air in triumph as you snipe a guard in the head from the other side of a dimly lit room with your favourite crossbow. We have an infinite number of possibilities for us to have fun in the best way we know how. And that way is to destroy anything and everything that we can in any way we can imagine!

Just a short one for you today, ladies and gents. The next time you feel "The Open World Blues" just remember...GO MENTAL! And then laugh all the way to the jail cell, plead insanity...then they cant give you the chair... And be sure to tune in next time for more Gamer Gripes and Grooves!



Matt Eakins is a freelance gaming journalist, with the ability to turn a phrase and spin a line at the drop of a hat. Find more from him on Twitter @SgtMooby or at http://gamergripesandgrooves.blogspot.co.uk/

Darksiders 2: The Horsemen ride again (Review)

In the video game industry, many developers and publishers will cover “taboo” subjects, such as a racism, sexuality and my personal favourite; religion. If done right it can make for a really amazing game, that leaves you stumped and contemplating the meaning of your own existence by the time you've finished it. If done wrong it just makes players angry as some half cocked game attempts to make them “See the light” like a street preacher squawking at you atop his ivory soap box. In this review I will be going over the core aspects of the game so that if you haven't played it or haven't even heard of the Darksiders franchise, you may well think about picking it up. But enough of my pandering, let the show go on!

Story

In this outing of Darksiders you take control of Death the leader of “The Horsemen”. Death is on a quest to clear his brothers name and restore humanity, although he has no idea how this can be achieved (good call dude!) after a brief encounter with a transmogrification of his brother, he is sent to a far off world that is being ruled over by “Corruption”. In order to restore humanity he is set the task of destroying Corruption by the natives; a race of giants with Scottish accents known as "The Founders", how fortunate for them that he turned up...

 

Say what you like about him, he's still going to kill you.

As you play through Darksiders 2 you will learn more about how “The Horsemen” came in to being and clear up some of the previous games unanswered questions, such as: what Uriel was doing before she was trying to make War her ultimate pin cushion. Along the way you will also hear NPCs name drop characters which you will recognize from the first game and will cause a small smile creep over your face as you remember the good (or frustrating) times that you had playing alongside these characters. It has things for newcomers to the series too though, from the deadpan way that Death delivers his threats, to the “battle chatter” that “The Founders” spout in a heavy jock accent.

 

An important factor that makes this game different from the previous title is that is almost twice as long as the original Darksiders. This may be a good thing or a bad thing depending upon your point of view.

Game play

As with the previous title, Darksiders 2 is more than just an apocalyptic button masher, the overhauled level up system is more reminiscent of World of Warcraft or the Dragon Age series, making you fill an experience bar to get to the next level and allowing you to add another skill point to Death's “Talent Tree”.

If you can fill up every talent, Death is near on unstoppable

The Amount of customization that can be done with Darksiders 2 is nothing short of epic, with each piece of clothing or armour adding or subtracting points from Death's “Attributes” points, allowing the player to mould Death in to the character that they prefer to play as. Although this may seem tedious and boring, the ability to create Death as you envision him to be is something that can't be missed.

As you would expect the combo system is back. Instead of buying all your much needed combo maps and items from the masochistic demon “Vulgrim” (who coincidently makes a reappearance) instead you have to find the different traders that hold the item you want, which can be frustrating but also refreshing in that you don't have to buy everything from a deranged but loveable, soul hungry demon outcast.

The in-game currency has changed from “Souls” to “Gilt” which appear as small piles of gold and won't gravitate to you once they are released from what may be containing them, unlike Souls from the previous game.

The enemy design in Darksiders 2 is just as, if not more creative as the previous title, they are also biome specific, i.e. You wont find a Mummy roaming round green brightly lit fields of The Forge Lands, instead you will find them in the many tombs and dungeons that the Land Of The Dead has to offer.

Vulgrim: Sneaky, greedy, maniacal...whats not to like?!

A word to the wise however, if “Fetch Quests” quests aren't your thing, then it would be best to stay away from this title, as there is A LOT of them, and believe me when I say A LOT, however if you enjoy exploring and finding hidden goodies. Then the fetch quests won't really phase you too much, read on to find out why.

Level Design

In many ways the developers “Vigil” took a lot of inspiration for the “Hub” from the Zelda games of the 90's, each dungeon, cave or tomb is connected by a meadow or a desert that has to be crossed on horse back (purely to save time) to be reached. This is remedied by the enemies that felt the need to converge there, time can be wasted (but experience gained) by taking a little time to despatch these misguided nasties and then procede on your merry way.

These unfortunate foes can be deadly in numbers!

The dungeons/caves/tombs are extremely well designed, with multiple levels on in all of them it is easy to get lost for any length of time whilst you work out what you have to do next, this happens more often in the later dungeons, the addition of usable items that Death can collect, makes the later dungeons even more of a grind to complete, but the rewards at the end of most of them are more than adequate.

As you would expect with this kind of game, each dungeon ends with a boss battle of epic proportions, many of these bosses follow patterns of attack that are extremely easy to memorise such as: Shield Bash, Ice Breaker, Ice Breaker, Killing Blow(A lil hint for you).

Some bosses are extremely frustrating to kill until you work out a way to counter or evade every attack that it may be throwing at you, but as a lot of them are gigantic compared to Death, laying the final blow to deplete their health meter is extremely satisfying and the goodies that they drop even more so.

One of the more frustrating bosses, but has one of the best loot drops in the game.

The Pros

Being able to spec out Death exactly as you like is great, you can now create Death exactly as you've always imagined him.

The wide variety of worlds and levels can keep you engrossed for hours, which is EXACTLY what you want from a video game...right?

The Cons

Being the game of epic proportions that Darksiders 2 is, you can't expect glitches to be non-existent, several annoying camera angle glitches presented themselves to me on my play through, but once the game has its initial giggle at me waggling the analogue sticks trying to get Death back in to the camera shot, the glitches never reappeared.

The dungeons can sometimes get repetitive and boring, especially if you are on a long gaming session, I found that leaving it for a day or two helped me get back in to the flow of things and complete them.

The Verdict

Even though it may have a small Legend of Zelda complex, Darksiders 2 is an extremely enjoyable game that a Darksiders veteran or new comer would enjoy, if you have a thing for the end of the world with a lot of blood, intense boss fights and games that involve a lot of scythe swinging, then Darksiders 2 is definitely a game worth picking up.

Find, Return, Reward: The hidden purpose of the “Fetch Quest”

We've all been there, from the lowest level Grasshopper to the highest level Troll slayer, you stumble in to a village or town, completely saturated in Knoll guts and spiders webs and do the regular routine of cleaning your boots, sharpening or upgrading your sword and of course quest gathering.

Which one to tackle first..?

Everything goes well, you get that “Clear Out A Bandit Camp” quest which makes you laugh deviously as you concoct all the messed up ways that you can dispatch those naughty bandits and desecrate their corpses (C'mon we've all done it) a few “Talk To Lady Pimplebottom” type quests and you're feeling great as you laugh your way to free and easy coin. That is until you come to that ONE NPC, they can often be found lurking in the darkened corner of the shadiest tavern in town hunched over a suspicious looking pint. That ONE NPC, that speaks in hushed tones and occasionally glances towards the door, as if to make sure its still there in case an abrupt exit is needed. That ONE NPC that gives you the dreaded quest; to fetch/kill/loot/pilfer X amount of X and become “The mightiest hero in the land”.

Yep, there's a Dragon behind me, and what?

 No one really likes these kinds of quests, they can trail on for hours or you get extremely frustrated when you are not able to find that last “Sweaty Ferret Nose” to hand in to that lazy good-for-nothing-but-a-swift-kick-up-the-arse mage so he can make his potion of extreme blandness, but these quests also have an amazing ability; to open you up to the fruits and wonders of the world that you find yourself in.

It may take you a while,and wandering through the wilderness can be extremely tedious if not incredibly boring, but if the stars have aligned and a virgin has performed a strip tease for a goat in the last 30 days you could find yourself surrounded by beautiful meadows watching the grass sway gracefully in the breeze. Or on the peak of the highest mountain, surveying all that lay before you with a mighty foot on the corpse of a fallen foe or wandering in to an unassuming cave that then leads you to finding a veritable kings ransom of useful goodies or a shiny new piece of armor that completely outclasses your current wardrobe.

I just don't know about these boots with this helmet...

These wonderful places can have you exploring for hours, finding new and exciting things at every turn can make you completely forget about the tediousness of finding that 10^th item so you can claim that measly “reward” that you get for filling your inventory with someone else's shopping list.

So just remember, when Farmer Mc'Gavin sends you to the next town to save his daughter from the mighty “Defiler Bandits” it could lead you on a brilliant quest of exploration, wonder and goodies galore. Fetch quests have their place, they may seem as exciting as watching a pig rolling in its own filth, but off the beaten track is often where the real adventures are to be had, so pick up your feet and grab that dratted quest with both hands and then COMPLETELY forget about it, you'll thank me later. 

And to think, you nearly missed this view...you're welcome!

 

The importance of Auto Save

Like myself, I'm sure that many of you have been enjoying the Games With Gold service that Microsoft has initiated recently, and like many other people have discovered the immense amounts of joy that can be had from brutally destroying zombies in a variety of diabolical and hilarious ways. I am of course, talking about Dead Rising 2, as no doubt most of us are back in training for the upcoming Dead Rising 3 we have decided to play through once again to hone our zombie genocidal art and have a laugh or two with such weapons as “The Sledge-axe” and “The Freeze Bomb”.

Hey Buddy, Did ya hear this one?

I have no doubts that many of you have your own personal peeves that make you foam at the mouth and rage quit faster than Sonic on a speed bender, but without a doubt, mine has to be the lack of a quick/auto save feature. Well that and having to constantly check on your daughter, as if she was about to snort cocaine of a zombie hookers back for shits and giggles at a moments notice.

Picture the scene: you're fighting off a horde of brain and flesh hungry zombies, as well as trying to defend yourself from a complete ass hole...on a bike... that has fricking CHAINSAWS attached! You take an unexpected hit from a zombie that knocks you in to the path of said ass hole, who then saws you in half. Then you realise that your last save was over an hour ago and that you're not even on the same mission that you were on when you took a trip to the cock up peninsular. And this, ladies and gents, is what REALLY gets up my nose.

Good to see the Power Rangers back in action!

If only this game had a quick or auto save function, it would save so much raging and going out for smoke breaks just to calm myself down enough to try it again only to be met with the same results. This isn't just a case of stupidity or “Poor Game play” this is all out, balls to the wall INSANITY! Even Minecraft has a fricking auto save feature! And that game looks like it was made on a toaster that became self aware midway through development! I hope for the love of all that I hold dear that Dead Rising 3 will make the right decision and include such a feature, its got so many other bells and whistles on it that something that simple should be a no brainer.

Take THAT you filthy knave!

But the DR “Fan Boys” will protest that its all in the name of “Immersion” “You wouldn't have an auto save function in a real zombie apocalypse”. Well yes, this is true...but I also wouldn't be running around a zombie infested shopping mall wearing my underpants on my head and beating them with a handbag! Rant_end/