“I came in like a Wrecking Ball” -- When it all goes wrong.

A change from my usual postings, but something struck me today about someone (or a few people) that I know; just because we can't see the pain, it doesn't mean it's not there. previously I posted an article on gaming in relationships, in a way this is a spin off of the same topic, I hope you enjoy.

There are some people in our lives that have the power to change us, they can be right in front of your nose or they can be on the other side of the world, but in some way shape or form they will change us, and not necessarily for the better. I am of course talking about relationships. Boyfriends, Girlfriends, Best friends, Husbands, Wives, friends with benefits ect. All these people have something in common, you have given a part of yourself to them, and in return you get a part of them, memories, both good and bad. Feelings, both euphoric and despairing, in a split second your mood can change from on top of the world to the lowest of the low with seemingly no way to turn it around, all because one of these people have an ability, one that not every Tom, Dick or Harry on the street can do; They can make you feel. 

Love for all, even the slow ones.

Many of us have experienced these relationships, we have also experienced the heartache and the self doubt that can occur when these relationships break down and end. especially in the more romantic relationships, the ending of one can influence you to drastically change your general mood, behavior or personality in an effort to block out the feelings you might be undergoing. These feelings can last for hours, days, months even years and we never truly feel the same as we did before the relationship ended.

In many of the instances that I've seen, music can be the one saving grace for the person feeling a tsunami of emotions and feelings, everything from rock and metal to soul and R'n'B. I now point you in the direction of “Wrecking Ball” by Miley Cirus, which was incidentally what gave me part of the inspiration for this piece. The song talks of a relationship that has been completely destroyed, and Miley singing about how hurt and fragile she feels but whilst also realizing what went wrong. I'm not going to go on and analyze the song, because that would be boring.

                                                            A beautiful cover, full of emotion

Some, if not all of us have felt like the Miley of our own relationships at one point in time or another, I wont be lecturing you in to letting everything go in one fell swoop, picking yourself up and dusting yourself down, telling you “There's plenty more fish in the sea” or any of those dated clichés. Instead I'm going to offer advise: embrace the feelings. Don't let them consume you, but embrace them, listen to them, take stock of everything you've learnt in the relationship and regret nothing from it. Coming out of such a close bond, filled with love, care, devotion, attention and kind words is never easy and can cause some people to completely lose sight their own identity in an effort to bring the good times back, but with everyday that you listen to what the pain is telling you. Is another day that you remember the good times, the fun times, the times that you look back on and smile, without the pain of everything that has happened, tainting your memory of the past.

Itch it and you'll ruin it...

You move through the pain as if you were getting a tattoo; mild irritation turns to agonizing pain, that then turns to an itch that you CAN'T scratch that turns to a beautifully crafted piece of art. (I thought I said no clichés?) But like a tattoo, emotional pain takes time to heal, scratching the pain will cause it to manifest, thus causing more pain, but this is just my take on the subject, let me know what you think in the comments below. 

 

I may do more articles like this, if inspiration strikes and fully takes hold I will write about anything. I will leave you today with this; Tomorrow is not promised, what you may have today, may be be lost. so live, love and laugh like this is your last day on earth.

Peace, love and puppies ladies and gents,

Sgt Mooby

Chin up Scaredy Bear, I'm here if you need to talk x

Gaming Couples: The Myth of the Gamr Gurl

DISCLAMER - As heterosexual male, I will be writing this from the point of view of a heterosexual male, this article is in no way shape or for, meant to belittle, demean, undermine, insult, attack or humiliate those that are not heterosexual males - DISCLAMER

We has human beings have an uncontrollable desire to be loved, wanted, understood and respected. For some gamers it might not be as effortless to attract members of the opposite sex. Some of us however have found a partner that we want to share things with. Passions, dreams, hobbies, Animé collections ect..

In my adventures in to the dating world I have had some fair maidens, dismiss my love of video games, calling it a “Childish Pursuit”. Saying that I’m “Too old” to be playing video games. Those women rarely made it far in to my heart or my mind. I am about to reveal to you something that some of you may have never realised before...ready? Women do actually play video games! I know that some of you may find this hard to believe, but they honestly do! Its not an elaborate lie that the internet has concocted to keep you glued to your screens in an effort to find one of these “Mystical Creatures”.

"Here we have, the Gamer Girl, in her natural environment"

Yes they may be few and far between, but a lot of (if not all of) the time, they are well worth the wait. I have found gamers of the fairer sex to be just as if not more, passionate and creative than the non gaming variety. Which in turn allows you to share your favourite past time, with potentially the girl of your dreams. For those of you that have get to find your “Gamr Gurl” but have found yourself a fair maiden (why am I typing like its the Middle Ages?) introducing her to your world can seem a daunting task. But we got in to this hobby because we enjoy it and are passionate about it, right?

Well this is the side you have to show to your girl, show her the fun, social side of it instead of the “stay-up-till-4am-drinking-redbull” side that she has already seen and detests about your favourite past time. Show her that together you can overcome puzzles in games such as “Portal 2” or help her get out her frustrations in a friendly game of FFA in “Call Of Duty” (use this wisely, things can get ugly). Show her the town planning potential you have with “Sim City” or the tactician side of you with “Command & Conquer”. Gaming is supposed to be fun, so why not show her why you are so invested in it?

Atlas & Peabody: The perfect co-op couple.

Why all these things may help to get your woman be more accepting of your hobby. Don't try and change her, it wont work and she will probably end up resenting you for it, which could then end up in an unhappy relationship. Which would then end up with a very unhappy gamer! There is a reason why you are with her in the first place, don't risk losing that whilst you try to make her in to your perfect woman.

For the record, I don’t believe that there are such things as “girl gamers”. My opinion on the matter is, there are women, who ENJOY video games, geek culture, Animé and the such like. But to label someone over their personal preference in what they enjoy doing in their free time is stupid, silly and disrespectful. Some women openly call themselves Gamer Girls, and I take my hat off to them. They have chosen an identity, and they are happy with it! Why people have to attack them or hit on them for simply being a female in the community I will never know, I could go on a rant for a full feature about how women are belittled and shunned from the gaming community or the comic book community, but I won't...for now at least.

What many of us seek, but few of us ever find.

To finish this post, Gaming with your other half can be a great bonding exercise, it can strengthen your bond as a couple and you get her involved in your passion, so many wins!

Introducing her to your world can be an exciting time as a couple, during the hours you spend gaming, you may find out things that will shock and surprise you, or find out things that you find endearing about her and make you cherish and like her even more. Happy hunting guys and girls! And remember, just because you haven't met the gaming partner of your dreams yet, they may be just around the next spawn point. 

This article is dedicated to Cuddliicakes, For giving me the inspiration behind this piece, and for being awesome.

Matt Eakins is a freelance gaming journalist, with the ability to turn a phrase and spin a line at the drop of a hat. Find more from him on Twitter @SgtMooby or at http://gamergripesandgrooves.blogspot.co.uk/